I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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