Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
