My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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