i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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