Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
