WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Couch. On fire.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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