Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize