i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
