keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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