My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
