Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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