she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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