My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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