I think I am morally bankrupt
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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