You can't motorboat a personality
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
