he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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