no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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