Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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