does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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