i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
