it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
