How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
