weddingsv make me drug and hornr
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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