Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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