The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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