i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
