If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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