oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
