Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Brb crying the tears of my youth
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
