u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
