CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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