I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
