shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
