You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
