You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
