I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
