don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
