Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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