We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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