Pappa wants mamma naked
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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