So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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