just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
