I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
