dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
