i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize