I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
