I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
