I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
