he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
