Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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