Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
