i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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