there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
