Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
