Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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