When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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