I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
