My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
